One man on Reddit said he felt blessed when he found his second wife after years of being a widower.
The father shared that he met his wife four years ago. He has a daughter from his previous marriage, and his wife has two daughters of her own. All of the girls are close in age, being 11, 12, and 13.
At first, all of the girls got along.
However, not everything was all Happily Ever After, as his new wife’s two daughters (ages 13 and 11), along with his wife’s ex, have continually harassed and bullied his own 12-year-old daughter. The stress brought on by the situation led the man to make a difficult decision and file for divorce. After being guilted by his second wife for leaving, the man took to Reddit to see if he was in the right for his decision.
“The girls dad hates my daughter and they (the girls) will spew that hate in our home, and will use it to bully my daughter. A grown ass man called my 10 year old a fat repulsive pig, a w*ore and the reason abortion was invented (to list only a few). The girls have called her dumb, they have mocked her for being shy and introverted,” he explained in a post on the Am I The A**hole subreddit.
Below is the original context of the Father’s Reddit post:
“I was a widower when I met my wife four years ago. She was a divorced mom of two. I had a daughter, also. The three girls are 13 and 11 (my stepdaughters) and 12 (my daughter). My wife’s ex was kind of an issue when we met, but it was easy not to expose my daughter to him, so I felt secure in moving forward. My daughter really liked my wife and was excited to maybe have siblings. My stepdaughters were fine with my daughter at first. Of course, they didn’t just call her sister magically or treat her the same right away, but they were nice.
“That all changed within a month of my wife and I getting married two years ago. The girl’s dad hates my daughter, and they (the girls) will spew that hate in our home and will use it to bully my daughter. A grown-ass man called my ten-year-old a fat repulsive pig, a w*ore, and the reason abortion was invented (to list only a few). The girls have called her dumb. They have mocked her for being shy and introverted. I made it clear that we could not continue if we were to stay married and my wife was determined she would get them to stop. I got my daughter therapy, and I did as much as I could to keep them separate. But even at night, they started to taunt her. So I made the decision to move out with my daughter, and I told my wife our marriage could not continue. She begged me to stay. She said she loves us and her girls need me. I said my daughter comes first.
“Ever since I filed for the divorce, my wife’s family have been telling me how much my stepdaughters need me, how badly they need to see a healthy and good father figure in their lives, and that I will destroy them if I leave. How they’re important, and I need to prioritize them. I told them they were not more important than my daughter. Outrage ensued, and I was asked how I could say that. They said my wife was prioritizing my daughter, and being loved by her should be enough for her to understand her sisters need me to stay in their lives. And I am an asshole for saying their granddaughters are not special. I told them that wasn’t what I said. But they said I dismissed two young girls and made it sound like they weren’t worth fighting for.”
The Reddit community rallied behind the distraught dad.
“You did the right thing – the only harsh and cruel thing said in that conversation was them implying that you were somehow harming your stepdaughters by choosing to protect your own child from their bullying. The girls may indeed need a healthy father figure in their lives – but if you had stayed in that house and allowed their torment of your daughter to continue, then you no longer would have been the example they needed,” one commenter reasoned.
Many pointed to the wife’s ex as the main cause of the issue.
“You, unfortunately, cannot control the amount of poison the ex is spewing, and despite your wife and in-law’s efforts, there’s not much you can do to fix it. … I understand why your wife and her family are so upset, but you do have an obligation to your daughter,” one comment read.
“I wouldn’t be that hard on the ex-wife. She’s tried to discipline the girls, but she’s up against them being indoctrinated into toxic behavior the other half of the time. That’s a near-impossible fight once he’s gotten in their heads,” another commenter added.