During work hours, most of us conduct ourselves with the utmost maturity and professionalism, reserving our antics and less-than-responsible behaviors for our own time.
But should we be expected to keep up that professionalism, even once we’ve clocked out for the day?
That’s the question one kindergarten teacher is asking after she recently had one too many drinks in the presence of some of her students, leading to a heated interaction with a parent and a subsequent meeting in the principal’s office.
The woman had been celebrating her birthday and was on a night out with friends when two of her students walked in and greeted her. She’d greeted them back and then continued to enjoy her night.
Shortly after, the mother of one of the students had come up to her table and asked her to stop drinking and using foul language. Furthermore, she explained that she was setting a bad example for the children she teaches as they could hear her swear and see her drink.
Surprised, the woman replied that she is not working and that she should be allowed to enjoy her night just like everybody else.
After her experience, the 27-year-old kindergarten teacher decided to share what had happened on the Am I The A**hole (AITA) subReddit forum to ask people what they thought.
“I’m a kindergarten teacher. I teach in-person classes that are socially distanced, as well as online classes. Last weekend was my (27f) birthday. I went to a restaurant with a couple of friends for outdoor dining. While we were there, two moms came in with their children and were seated behind me. I recognize them as students in my in-person class. They say hi to me, and I say hi back, but then don’t interact further.”
The teacher insisted that she and her friends weren’t doing anything out of the ordinary or inappropriate.
“Through dinner, I’m just enjoying my time with my friends. I have a few glasses of wine and get a little tipsy (not rowdy or obnoxious or anything). I’m conversing normally with my friends, occasionally using cuss words. Not excessively, just the way some people would in everyday conversation. Maybe a little more than I would have if I were not tipsy, but again, I’m not speaking loudly or anything. Just having normal conversations with my friends.”
One of the moms was outraged that she “caught” the kindergarten teacher behaving like an adult.
“One of the moms then comes over to me and reminds me that my students were there and that I shouldn’t be drinking and cursing in front of them. Since I’m their teacher, it was my job to set a good example for them. I just told her I was off the clock and that if it was bothering her, she could move or stop listening to me. She got all huffy, and they soon left.”
Things didn’t turn out well for the teacher.
“Earlier this week, I was called down by the principal who was with that mom in his office. She was angry and complained that I was setting a bad example for my students. And now her daughter was using some of the same words I was using, saying that if her teacher can say it, so can she. He asked for my side of the story, and I just explained exactly what happened. Given that she verified my story, he told her that I was not their teacher at the time, and since I wasn’t doing anything wrong, they couldn’t control my behavior off the clock.”
The principal had the teacher’s back.
“She protested a bit but eventually left but called me a terrible teacher. I thanked the principal for backing me up, but then he suggested maybe that one time I should have just stopped drinking and using foul language. I really didn’t think this was a problem since I wasn’t acting out. Just talking casually and enjoying a couple of glasses of wine. But am I really the [expletive] for drinking and using foul language in front of my students while off the clock?”